Ten

im sleepy, but restless.
i was laying in my bed with the window open.
not sure why...i like the contrast of cool air on my face while my body is warm.

i feel like you're keeping secrets from me.
we're on number 2 as of right now, i believe.
i'm aching for explanations.
today sucked.
and ham being angry with me didn't make it better.

...bite me.

i remember when you liked me, reese.
i wish i could have soaked it in more when you did.
i didnt like you then. it was on and off again.
late last year, you were me and i was you.
you were the one that sent me sweet texts, i was the one that never answered.
its plain sad.
i remember i had said something that ended with '...suits you perfectly.'
you replied 'you suit me perfectly.'
i didnt hear the phone vibrate for that text, but two minutes later i did and your text said 'you better reply to my amazing pick up line.'
i miss that. more than anything. truly.
i remember you always used to call me, and always brag to marisa how much we talked.
you and marisa then mentioned the upcoming dance, in which marisa was about to ask me to go with her [over the phone] until you two discussed it quietly.
you were planning to ask me. but THAT whole thing was two years ago.

lately you say you love me, and i wonder if you mean it.

i say it to you, and there's no doubt.

i JUST got your text.
'i am a sex fein. boy or girl i need love. so i cannot commit to one person. i can not do it. may sound dumb but it seriously takes over my life.

...as of just now, i do doubt that 'i love you.'
ironic.

i said '...is that your secret?'
you said 'yes. your so important to me. i love you. but i just cant back commit. i back out.'
i said 'oh. i see.'
you said 'so now you know. i sense your mad at me.'
i said '...you disappoint me. goodnight.'



thanks for breaking my heart once again.

have a nice fucking life.

goodnight.