i don't know where to begin?
i'm having cravings tonight.
the alcohol's changed me.
i want someone to fucking KISS.
i'm tired of the surprising kisses on the cheek, occasionally the mouth.
i want to hold someone and just kiss them.
that's all i want.
something real, but for my sensibility, that's impossible to do and i've gone completely overboard.
i'm currently on the edge.
i can't stand who i am.
the alcohol's making it soooo much better but so much worse all at once.
i've never felt so low. sneaking rum into my room.
slipping it into my juice.
i've been LIKING the pain that bella gives me when she crushes her teeth into my arm.
the 'suicidal tendencies' have been coming to me excessively.
today with my tequila i was searching for pills that had extreme consequences and side-effects.
of course i found some, from my pill-popping stepdad.
i stared at them for minutes reading every little word, but then just tossed them aside onto the counter and took a sip of the jose cuervo.
i have no idea what's happening to me.
i'm worthless.
i'm secretly insane.
sometimes i beg to be shot.
it wont be very fucking long until i'm thrown into an asylum.
i hate crying.
i haven't been disgusted with myself as much as i am right now.
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