I've learned my alphabet...

all i want to do is get things done and get things over with.

i just want everything solved down to one little point and whenever i need something, i can just look there.

i won't have to search for answers anymore.

i want everything to be in tact, i want everyone to tell the truth and be honest.

i'm being selfish and a jerk because i don't want to hear what anyone has to say.

not the kind of things they're saying about my problems,

just the words that come out of their mouths.

like "dinner's almost ready."

or "i'm washing clothes."

for the past three days i've been biting my lips to keep my mouth shut and not say anything dry.

music is the only thing i don't want blocked out right now.

i've been in my little hermit shell all along just waiting to outgrow it,

but now it feels like i'm never going to.

i'm going to be curdled up inside of it, pushing on it, trying to get it to crack open so i can crawl out and find another one that i can grow up inside and mature more.

and when that one cracks, i'll be on my own away from "people."

baked potatoes sound fucking gross right now.

the bland smell matches perfectly to my attitude and state of mind.



i lost a tooth today,

and i might have to get glasses.

that's all.

the only thing i'm waiting for is the concert tickets.

i miss alex.

tegan and sara's music has played three more times on one tree hill.

thank goodness that can save me.



i'm off to eat mush.