..said the ugly fuckling.

i don't blog too much anymore. every once in a while i guess. at least compared what i used to..
which was almost daily.

i love this new computer. i can now type as frantically as i want because it makes hardly any noise.

why don't i blog anymore?
because i'm over that girl, for the most part.
i still think about her. i thought about writing her, calling her...
i kind of miss being in love.
i realize i am one of the lucky few that got to experience what it really was.
...too bad she wasnt in love with me.
it's her loss, though.

another reason i don't blog: i'm not very emotional anymore. of course this has to do with the reason above, but i thought i'd state it anyways.
it seems like i don't have feelings anymore.
i'm not having ups or downs, im just inbetween.
completely neutral, and i'm not worrying about anyone else.
at the same time i'm not worried at all about myself.

i've been debating in which more of a mood i am in. which one fits me?
i can't tell if it's one of those "whose feet am i under again?" or a "who's under my feet for the first time?"

because i don't know if im stepping on people, or people are stepping on me.
i'm trapped beneath no one's shoes, i know this.
or maybe i'm just faking the CONfidence.
i put the CON in CONfidence, but that would be a CONtradiction...



"""if your taken i am yours, i'm up and doing circles.""""
repeat that ten times.


anyways, i've been wandering the house in my robe that i got for christmas from mary.
wearing nothing beneath it.
but right now i am wearing boxers beneath it, only because they're snug and i like the way my package feels in them.

anyways, i'm off.

PS: i rummaged through the garbage to find the box of oreos my mom threw away.