Blamed for being oblivious...

it seems like the more i tell you,
the more i'm taking away from myself,
or maybe the more you've taken from me.
it's both.
i feel like i can't get around you without saying what i'm thinking.
you don't hesitate to ignore your thoughts.
changing subjects and saying short sweet things is your hobby.
we're a match made in heaven and you can't realize it.
or maybe i'm just dillusional.
...you don't seem to care much?
do you agree?
fake marriage and flirting hardly keeps me right there with you.
but i'd never be able to stand up and say that to you.
what am i gonna do when we're done with each other?
i'll have difficulties moving on, i know you won't.
you can't see it, but i love you more than anything else on this planet.
then again, i've told you countless times,
it probably means nothing.
sure you can deny it to make me feel better,
and you'll be offended by this blog terribly when you read it one day.

boyfriends keep coming.
they don't love you like i do.
get it through your head and give me a final word.
i'm right here, and i'm real.

everyday's becoming one small storyline for a book.
my thoughts for the day, my feelings?
but who gives a shit. i hardly do.
swimming in the dark naked, slipping underwater with my eyes closed, laying beneath the surface and just thinking.
hoping i'd stay awake/fall asleep.
maybe then people would care.
maybe you'd regret it.
but i'd never leave on such a bitter note.
but thinking ahead, this will end bitter and stupid.
'you're so bitter you think she's sweet'
switch a word there.

i'm faking my happiness,
i have to say i'm an amazing actor, darling.

you can't figure me out.
i can't figure you out.

i've opened my eyes,
now it's your turn.